Mother Turns Pain Into Purpose After Battling Postpartum Depression

Ivana Poku, a maternal mental health advocate based in Scotland, faced severe challenges after giving birth to twins. Struggling with postpartum depression, she experienced intrusive thoughts that left her terrified. Now, her mission is to help other mothers understand they are not alone in their struggles.

Poku’s experience began when her twins were just a few months old. She recalls a chilling moment when, while alone at home, she felt a sudden and overwhelming urge to harm one of her babies. “It was like something possessed my brain and my body,” she shared. Recognizing the gravity of the situation, she quickly secured her child in a safe place and locked herself in her bedroom, realizing that she was grappling with a serious mental health issue.

Reflecting on her journey, Poku believes her mental health began deteriorating soon after the twins’ arrival. While she was never formally diagnosed with postpartum depression, she suspects her experiences might have bordered on postpartum psychosis. Instead of the expected rush of love, she felt numbness and guilt. “I didn’t feel happy,” Poku admitted, adding that she believed this made her a terrible mother.

Dr. Shahrzad Jalali, a clinical psychologist and trauma expert, explained that postnatal mood changes are more common than many recognize. “About 70 to 80 percent of new mothers experience what we call the ‘baby blues’ in the first few days after giving birth,” she said. This typically includes emotional symptoms such as tearfulness and irritability but usually resolves within weeks. When these feelings persist or interfere with daily life, they may evolve into postpartum depression, which affects approximately one in seven new mothers globally.

Poku’s isolation compounded her mental health struggles. Having recently moved to a new town without friends or family for support, she felt increasingly disconnected. “Most of the time it was just me,” she said, recalling how her husband worked long hours. Despite receiving information on support services, reaching out seemed impossible in her state of despair.

The pivotal moment for Poku came when a friend unexpectedly visited and found her in distress. “There was no way I could hide it,” she recalled. This conversation opened the door to her healing process. Poku’s husband also played a crucial role, reminding her that raising twins without a support network was challenging and that struggling did not indicate weakness.

With newfound compassion towards herself, Poku began to heal. Her recovery sparked a passion to support others facing similar challenges. She started a blog, **Mum’s Journey**, where she shares candid insights about motherhood and postpartum mental health. In addition, she published a book titled “Motherhood: The Unspoken,” which compiles stories from mothers worldwide, offering comfort and solidarity.

Poku also developed a course aimed at preparing expectant mothers for the emotional challenges they may face. “If I had known those feelings were normal,” she observed, “I wouldn’t have struggled in silence.” This sentiment is echoed by Dr. Jalali, who emphasizes the importance of support during this vulnerable time. “It’s crucial for a mother to know they’re not alone and that help is available,” she stated.

Today, Ivana Poku is a mother of three and a respected voice in the maternal wellness community. Her lived experiences have made her a lifeline for many women grappling with postpartum mental illness. “Many mothers have told me I helped them more than a psychologist,” she reflected. Poku’s journey from pain to purpose showcases the power of shared experiences and the importance of mental health support for new mothers.